Darwin Awards

[SpeedFreak]

You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so

without further ado here are the 2008 Darwin awards.

Eighth Place. In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck

and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an

18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

___________________________________

Seventh Place

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally

zoned when he ran', accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on

his daily run.

___________________________________

Sixth Place

While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole

for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at

the bottom! When it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand.

People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out

but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment

almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

___________________________________

Fifth Place

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the

ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the

long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed

into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

___________________________________

Fourth Place

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet

with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four

bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

___________________________________

Third Place

After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked

at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on

robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed

officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the

would-be robber announced a hold-up! and fired a few wild shots from a

target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and

several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was

pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators

located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy

revealed 23 gunshot wounds.

Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons.

No one else was hurt.

___________________________________

HONORABLE MENTION

Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just

driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss

out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to

notice the window was closed.

___________________________________

Runner up

Larry Bingham had been drinking with several friends

when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a

local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated

and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM.

Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one

had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking,

volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable, lay near by.

They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the

bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his

foot off at the ankle.. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy

water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never

located.

___________________________________

AND THE WINNER IS..

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany ) fed

his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a

bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm

finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was

attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the

relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected

defecation knocked Mr.Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head

on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on

top of him.

It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that

proves....'Shit happens'

IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR

REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL

[SiCaln]

haha love the darwin awards, they have some amazing ones each year like the woman who put her winnibago on cruise control on the motorway then got up and went to make a cup of tea in the back, she sued when it went into a wall