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The ASDA greeter said pleasantly, 'Good morning Madam, and welcome to ASDA. Nice children you have there. Are they twins by any chance?'

The ugly fat woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'F*ckin ell whye na, they're not twins yer twat. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the f*ckin ell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, thick, stupid or just a f*ckin cheese eater?'

'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam,'replied the greeter, 'I just couldn't believe you've been shagged twice.'

Have a good day, and thank you for shopping at ASDA

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