Jozinobi

Boobs A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions". "Onions?" "Yes, you see them and they make you cry." This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree". "A Christmas tree?" "Yes - dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration." Joz

Don't Kick the Animals!!! A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his mother. She said, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy went outside and said to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicked the chicken. He did the same with the cow and the pig. The boy then went back into the house and told his mother he was hungry. His mother said, "I saw you kick the chicken so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow so you're not getting any milk and I saw kick the pig so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walked down the steps and tripped over and kicked the cat and the boy said, "Mom should I tell him?" Joz

The cat and the rooster A rooster and a cat were playing by the pool. The cat fell in and the rooster laughed. The cat said: "a wet pussy always makes a cock happy." Joz

A lady walks into a BMW dealership A lady walks into a BMW dealership. She browses around, spots the top-of-the-line Beemer and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?" He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you're going to shit yourself when I tell you the price." Joz

This is a really minted idea by the way. The more the merrier, beats going alone or just with a few people. The craic would be huuuge! I finish college for good this summer anyway so Im a total free agent in November!! THE WOMB DAY OFF: Irregular. CAPACITY: 1000. NEAREST STATION: Shibuya station of JR Yamanote line. MUSIC STYLE: TECHNO, HOUSE, HARDHOUSE, DRUM&BASS. DRINK PRICE: Cocktails start from 500 yen. Soft Drink 500 yen - Drinks @ the womb from 500.00 JPY = 2.23212 GBP PIONEER CDJ: YES (CDJ1000MK2 X 2, CDJ1000 X 2) BEST DAY TO GO THERE: Weekends of course. Depending on the guest DJ it can be very very crowded making hard to move inside the club. The first Friday of every month is "Sterne" which is currently one of the best techno event in town with Ishino takkyu and an international guest everytime! CYBERJAPAN SAY: Techno and Progressive House fans, this is the club! Note that you must present a ID card with a picture to be able to enter. Sound system is the famous Phazon sound system (same as ex Club twilo in NY) and Club Womb have the biggest mirror ball in Japan. Joz

Needs to change his location in his profile NOW! Joz

Went to see 'Hot Fuzz' but thought it was so so. Joz

It sounds like the fare will be reasonable, its just other expenses you need to be prepared for Think about it, UKSC @ Tokyo City man. Can't get any better than that. Im meant to be going this summer or early/late autumn, either way I can still meet up I aint been on vacation for 2-3 years so its long overdue so either way Im going. Don't be going alone Geo lol, take some of us enthusiasts with you. I think it will be shit hot to meet you this way lol and check out the drifting and then chill out or party hard UKSC style. I dont know about the Techno club tho lmao, dont wanna get spaced out all over again lol but it will be pouring with underground totty! The Womb More Womb Womb Info No need to think about it bossman!!!!! Joz

Welcome to UKSC Claire. Tasty looking and fresh looking GT you have there. Great thing is that all the major modifications will be done by you Please enjoy the site and hope to see you around. You have arrived at the right place Joz

Is curious WTF those symbols meant Joz

It is Sir Jozalot darn thee.. Can tho not readeth squire? <<<Do not scorn thee, or thou shall taste the wrath of thy Tanabes Sustecs of Power. Sir Jozalot

So you're getting a mappable ecu for your n/a Mark? Sounds awesome. Are you running anything special? Talk soon Joz

Sounds great Sir Snaps! Looking forward to the piccies, sounds like good progress to me Sir Jozalot

Healthy discussion guys. The n/a starlet is great for its power to weight ratio, but it just lacks in the strong torque department which bigger cars possess. Its a shame you cant do runs at JAE, or maybe you can??? UKSC@Santa Pod is needed!!! Joz

Thats another good point Sir Blondalot :blondalot emoticon: If your bro is driving with all his ICE, tell him to try a few runs with only necessary stuff in the car and see if there is any difference. Its like having a passenger/passengers in the car, it does make a difference when the car is more weighed down. Joz p.s Is Sir Snaps your alter knight ego or perhaps Bruce Wayne's new butler???

Has just been JDM Manified!!! Joz

Still good to see an update from you Sparks. Joz

Ah the joys of 105ron Rich is right in saying that with a larger diameter exhaust, your peak power will be further up the rev range, this is good if you are always driving @ high rpm, but if its your daily driver then you will be thinking otherwise where low down torque is essential. Driving @ higher rpm often means speeding and boyracer tendencies Joz

You're welcome man. I gained much of this info from when I had my ss system made and I also did quite a bit of research on the net, I took it straight back the next morning to get a centre box fitted. As for carbon airbox, it is standalone man, its just the carbon box itself (very clean filter inside) with no clips or air feeds, open to reasonable offers Im sure your good self can get it setup. When set up right, it gives you the benefit of heat protection (like the old airbox) but also the airflow of an induction kit and guaranteed cold air intake as well as respectable filtering. You will need reducers for the engine side, the inlets on both ends are 76mm. Joz

Another good topic this. Why are your engines sucking in hot air anyway guys lol??? You need a carbon airbox (I got one for sale ) I can vouch for a fact that the standard inlet mani is empty and bottomless once you get into the higher revs, for me it was plain crap and was made for economy in mind. The corolla mani is tubular and the runners are positioned and designed to maximise the airflow in such a way that better and more freeflow acceleration can be achieved as well as slightly better throttle response. Car is less restrictive and much more rev happy for sure Like Rich says, it unlocks the engine. However it is understandable if some people dont get the same response from it, I've always had a low mileage motor so it is fairly unabused and runs well so the condition of your engine may well have a factor to how well your whole car performs. The main torque difference is actually to do with the difference in the two exhaust systems, the stock one is much better for low down torque as it creates all the backpressure very well hence your good low down torque. With your bro's full system being 'freeflow' he most probably lost most of his low down torque due to the freeflowing exhaust altho I bet that he accelerates to higher speeds quicker. I can vouch for this as when I recently had my full straight through exhaust, my low down power basically disappeared. By adding a centrebox I was able to get most of it back *phew* so it shows that some restriction is needed for such a small engine to make some torque. If I was you Idrees, to get the best out of your car as well as being resourceful, stick with the standard system, get the rolla mani and then get a decent carbon airbox with cold air feed. Your car will be very enjoyable to drive as that setup will give you VERY good low down torque especially in the higher gears and is perfect for everyday driving. Thats the same setup I HAD, and it was brilliant, I can tell you that it will make your SR enjoyable. The way the Glanza S made use of this mani to gain the hundred horses was from bigger injectors, a more aggressive 4efe ecu and possibly a better/bigger throttle body. Keep testing the two SRs Idrees, you'll find the answer, Im sure. Joz

Very good question Rich. It depends what your long term goals are for the car. This can be another way to look at it. A decent backbox is a nice addition to the car and makes it a little sportier although it wont add anything major towards performance gains . Ive had just a backbox for a good year and it was plenty of enjoyment. I would fully recommend this option as you are starting out If you fancy modifying your car to the extent that a new exhaust system will benefit your other modifications in the engine bay then that would be a good time to get a full system. Im sorry I cant say anymore as the performance side of things will vary for the individual. If you are using the stock manifolds then your experience may be very good as I have a friend who has a full 2" ss exhaust with decat and centrebox and he tells me that the car is quite a bit nippier. The bore or inner diameter of the system you get will also make or break you. If you go for a decat then if you can afford the extra, get a removable sports decat, that will give you the best of both worlds. Give your car a little extra perk with the decat and when mot time comes, bolt it back in. I now run a full 2" decat exhaust (with one bullet centrebox) and Im going to attempt to pass mot without the cat, if I fail then I will get a high flow sports cat. My setup is however different to my friend's, who I mentioned earlier At the end of the day its a 1.3 n/a (I own one too) so you wont be keeping up with 1.6 twincams unfortunately and there is only so much you can get out of it as I have taken it to the limit, trust me so a full exhaust system would perhaps be one of the last things you might want to do the car as the stock system is pretty good for what it is (economy and low torque) and for the expense of a full system you may not get the bang for buck that you may be expecting, but if you have the funds then its a great addition to have when done right and may be needed later to backup some decent engine mods. Hope this helps. Joz

Welcome to UKSC Looks like you have a nice base for modding. Enjoy Joz

Joz

Crap man. How did u sort the emmissions for the retest last year? Joz

Indeed Geo Not surpised it has some 'extra' refinements, it wouldnt be a JAM glanza for nothing lol. Let the test driving continue. Everythings moving well my side mukker Talk soon Joz