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paul w

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Posts posted by paul w

    is this just me !

    in Off Topic

    Posted

    I find slowing right down really pisses them off and they either get closer so i go slower or they shoot off like a tit only to slam on the brakes behind the next car up the road, i then find high beam and 6" off their bumper kinda gets the point accross :lol:

    I got the dreaded visit to the dentist today :(

    in Off Topic

    Posted

    Dont you just hate the dentist?

    I had an appointment booked for the other week, but decided to cancel it and re-arrange it because my works dental plans starts off in a month or so, and if I sign upto it, then I dont have to pay for dental work.

    Or so that was the plan

    woke up this morning with one hell of a tooth ache, couldnt lie down because the pain just got worse, took paracetamol, and nurofen, nothing :p

    After sitting up for like 5-10 mins, the pain would pretty much go, as soon as I'd try to sleep again it comes back.

    So instead I had to ring the dentist and get them to fit me in today to get it sorted, and to top it off, i cracked a tooth yesterday and the one I have tooth ache in needs a filling in, so I'm gonna get raped on charges now! I'm hoping they dont have an emergency appointment charge or I might as well drop my pant and lube up for an arse shafting as soon as I walk through the door!

    Anyone else hate dentists? Not looking forward to the injections :p

    FORGET paracetamol/ nurofen for that sort of stuff!

    YOU NEED SOLPADIENE PLUS!!!!!!!!! Thats the dogs danglies for pain killing :lol:

    Injections do nothing to me at the dentist or doctors!! Kinda hurts hence why i try not to go! :(

    5 Minute management lesson

    in Jokes & Fun Stuff

    Posted

    Lesson 1:

    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

    The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

    When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

    Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

    After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

    The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

    When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

    'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

    'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

    Moral of the story:

    If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

    Lesson 2:

    A priest offered a Nun a lift.

    She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

    The priest nearly had an accident.

    After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

    The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

    The priest removed his hand But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

    The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

    The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

    Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily

    and went on her way.

    On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

    Moral of the story:

    If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

    Lesson 3:

    A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

    They rub it and a Genie comes out.

    The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

    'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'

    Puff! She's gone.

    'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

    Puff! He's gone.

    'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.

    The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after

    lunch.'

    Moral of the story:

    Always let your boss have the first say.

    Lesson 4

    An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

    A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

    The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

    So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

    Moral of the story:

    To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

    Lesson 5

    A turkey was chatting with a bull.

    'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

    'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

    The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

    The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

    Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

    He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

    Moral of the story:

    Bull **** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

    Lesson 6

    A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

    While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

    As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

    The dung was actually thawing him out!

    He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

    A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

    Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

    Morals of the story:

    (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

    (2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your

    friend.

    (3) And when you're in deep ****, it's best to keep

    your mouth shut!

    100watt bulbs

    in Electronics

    Posted

    They are illegal for road use. Road bulbs are 55/60w and more than adequate for the job especially in the 30% uprated type that are still legal. :surrender:

    You will be blinding every other driver on the road. :surrender:

    Stressed people!?

    in Off Topic

    Posted

    If theres no construction jobs....which there won't be, then you gotta go elsewhere even if it's maccy D's to get some cashflow. Get to the agencies... anything, once you are stuck in the rut of not having a job it's harder to get a job!

    i've got my class 2 lorry licence so if i lose my job i will be in another job the next day near enough through agency work. :thumbsup:

    Stressed people!?

    in Off Topic

    Posted

    It's fucking crap. I've been out of work for ages because construction/building has gone shit.

    I'm not going to write much more about it because I don't think people are too bothered about hearing someone elses story but put it this way if I had a full time job now even on as little as £6 an hour I could afford to buy and insure a GT in June. :thumbsup:

    2 words............job centre :D I'm not having a go by the way :o

    Times are hard for many i'm sure, since christmas jobs i go to regular are not there anymore. Just closed down! I went through a shopping centre yesterday and a lot of the shops were closing down!!

    I've never been out of work longer than a month as i'll take anything i can to stay in employment!!

    Car Swap

    in Off Topic

    Posted

    Anyone for good ole crank walk!!!!! I wouldn't buy an early evo.

    If you want an evo save up and get an evo 6, the 4 is a nice looking car but the 6 is the one to have as most issues that the 4 and 5 had. :thumbsup:

    Anyone had any experience with a volvo?

    in Off Topic

    Posted

    Yeah the 2.0TD was another option infact, i should have wrote it down.

    i wondered how slow it would be, pretty slow i suspect

    It's an izuzu engine sounds like a bag of spanners but i've seen em with well over 200k on the clock and still going like new. :(

    They are built like tanks, very safe and strong. You dont crash into things with em...you go through em!! :p

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