Mr Luckless, before I pass sentence, do you have anyone who could vouch for your good character?” asked the judge. “Yes, Your Honour, I do,” he replied. “Him over there” and he pointed to the local police officer. “But your Honour,” spluttered the officer, “I’ve never met this man in my life.” “Exactly,” exclaimed Mr Luckless, triumphantly. “I’ve lived in this town for twenty years and the police still don’t know me. Now doesn’t that show good character?!