Need Some Help, Seriously.

[southwales_tuner]

Ok well if your in a good mood look away, dont want to ruin anyone's day/evening.

Just wondering if somone can give me some advice and help, i seem to remember Glanza-Love helping me out alot before when i had some shit going on in my life and really did give me some sound advice, so im guessing as this is like an extended family or whatever you lot may know somthing about this sort of sh*t im facing right here. Writing this at like 4:30am ive had some to drink so sorry if its little vague.

Ok it had to happen somtime, ive broken up with my girlfriend and shes left me, ive been with her for well over a year and a few months now, and its the toughest thing ive EVER faced in my entire life. Ive lost the person i loved the most in the world, cared about the most and needed most of all by my side while my family are absolutely falling to peices from illnesses, death and unlucky things happening to us all as a family. Im not a person with many friends and i understand why (im a difficult b*stard to get on with and an arrogant pr*ck at times too) so my friends, well, i could count on one hand if that. My girlfriend was not only my partner but my best friend as well, comined, and now shes gone im so f*cking lost that to be honest i just give up. Now dont get me wrong ive had 2 other previous semi-serious relationships, none with even clost to this much love involved or for this length of time and integrity though and both times the girl cheated, i managed to deal with those break ups very well and move on. BUT this time around i dont think i can, due to the circumstances, lack of good hard reason for the break up, sheer amount of people involved as our familes are becoming friends and communicate, my life and hers are now intertwined and joined and ive spent almost every day of my life with her, shared everything with her and seen and done alot together, things that ill remember for ever.

Over the last few weeks shes been seeing her mates alot more, started with spending time with her friends away from me for 2 days a week, then it went to 3, then it went to 4 and then 5 days and this last 2 weeks, ive got to see her for like 1 full day a week and thats it. And now finally today out of the blue she has decided to end the relationship with me as she sais we argue and row way too much to continue.....maybe we do row but not all the time and every couple rows but it seems to affect her inside alot more seriously than it would somone else. I blame myself, not her for these rows and issues. Any way, shes decided she wants to be alone and doesnt want me to be her "other half" any more and thats final, no going back, no nothing, no more about it, but she sais she is happy to be friends. Great, friends, no it would torture me every day.

So, me having family problems, being excluded from college (because im a knob pretty much)...blah blah blah. have now 90% decided im going to take my own life, wether its a good idea or a selfish one i dont really care 2 flying f*cks because i cannot deal with the pain and sheer confusion and loss of all hope and combined with the weight of my friends problems, my families pain and illnesses but most of all now the break up with the person i love most of all on this stupid planet. I just physically and mentally give up. The system has beat me and i have lost the will to continue to bother or try. I dont care about the future or what i may miss any more, neither do i really care about the fact im giving in as a coward. I just seriously, need to go, permanently. As they say, when your best isnt good enough, theres nothing more you can do. I have done my level best, ive tried and tried with things in my life and failed almost every time, ive had dreams shattered and sat and watched dreams of family members be shatterd on a daily basis and had to pick up the peices, no more, i just cannot do it.

Sorry guys, but i was just wondering what i should do. Talking to the councillors wont work because i dont like it and dont want to, talking to family wont help as they dont understand and have enough to deal with right now. And as ive said, friends? Well HA never mind! (sorry if you do read this, but you know why i said that, dont you?)

So any help or advice will be greatly appreciated. But as ive said im 90% certain ill be carrying through with it soon and taking what little life i have left in me away. Simple as that.

[southwales_tuner]

And just to add im not after sympathy because i hate sympathy.

All im after is for somone to possibly tell me the best way to come to terms with what it is i may decide to do, what the steps i need to take are before i do it, or if i should even do it at all any way?

[p15tle]

you need to get away from it all mate...go to another country for a while and forget about it all.

advice aint a strong point of mine being only 19 ive not exactly encounterd alot of the problems life seems too throw at you.

[Russleh]

sounds familiar. my mate just split up from his gf of 5 years at the same time as being laid off work and having acl reconstructive surgery on both his legs and he was feeling basically how u feel now. but regardless of what u may think now u know urself u will get over it. ull feel better eventually u just have to be patient.

and as for taking your own life and how u said u dont care if its selfish you should stop and think about the people who are ill etc. it would destroy them to think its their fault that your even considering it. For all you know killing yourself could have a knockon effect that causes someone else to do the same and noone wants that. although you have said u dont care you should still stop and have a good think about the effects it would have on other people.

at the end of the day stuff will get better, it always does eventually you just have to try and be positive and put up with everythin life will throw at you in the meantime.

not so good at advice either being only 20 but if something i can say would ake you change your mind then it was worth sayin

hope it helped.

Russell

[Dstillie]

my advice to you mate would be try and keep your mind busy on other things, surely there is something you have always wanted to do...go for it now you never no you can bump into some1 any day that can change your life for the better, dont sit about and post threads on how bad your feeling its only going to make you feel worse.

[Glanza_cl]

^^^ true you must have something you have allways wanted to do? now is the time to do as you have absolutly nothing to loose all you can do it gain from this point on

[Galliano]

but she sais she is happy to be friends. Great, friends, no it would torture me every day.

Yeah thats what i'm like, its really annoying.

Your alot like me mate, very depressive, when theres an up, theres usually a tonne to drag you down. Sometimes I doubt alot of things, sometimes im happy, mostly im sad, its just pointless.

Get away from it all, go abroad, live it up in ibiza for a few days, nail some chicks, get her out of your head for a bit.

[minxy]

Suicide is the most selfish thing in the world you can do! I've experienced it within my family.

Your family already sounds like it's pretty shit, if you care and love your family the way you seem to say you do you wouldn't want to put them through anymore pain.

Alongwith this girl, she obviously has come to a point where she doesn't feel you are right together, right now. Mayeb it could work in weeks, months or years to come. If she is your friend aswell as a big love why put her through that pain, as she will feel it's her fault.

If i was you, i would go travelling and get away for a bit. Whilst you are under 30 you can get up to a 2 year visa to go to OZ as a working holiday. You'll meet loads of people, earn some money and get to see so much more. Thats my advice!

[paulgtt]

Mate, check your pm box.

[southwales_tuner]

Just want to say thanks to all for their advice and cheers paul mate for helping me out and putting my mind straight.

For now, things are working out. Me and the girl in question are dealing with the problems more like adults now than silly little children because i think we both understand and realise we were being f*cking stupid about a fair few things. Alot has been said and got alot of our chests and now know what annoys eachother and we are going to see if it can work out.

As for the family problems. I doubt they will ever be solved as its been that way even since before i was born. Their too big for me to solve and sort.

So for now, im going to stick around, but im going to the hospital soon and will be having regular checks and talks with the doctor about my depression and stuff to hopefully stop me wanting to top myself again, as the urge to do it last time was almost too much to stop.

Once again thanks all for your advice. Legends.

Rhys.

[BlackRocket]

Just want to say thanks to all for their advice and cheers paul mate for helping me out and putting my mind straight.

For now, things are working out. Me and the girl in question are dealing with the problems more like adults now than silly little children because i think we both understand and realise we were being f*cking stupid about a fair few things. Alot has been said and got alot of our chests and now know what annoys eachother and we are going to see if it can work out.

As for the family problems. I doubt they will ever be solved as its been that way even since before i was born. Their too big for me to solve and sort.

So for now, im going to stick around, but im going to the hospital soon and will be having regular checks and talks with the doctor about my depression and stuff to hopefully stop me wanting to top myself again, as the urge to do it last time was almost too much to stop.

Once again thanks all for your advice. Legends.

Rhys.

It sounds like you have taken the 1st couple of steps in the right direction there Rhys, i've been through depression and there is some good help out there if you want to take it.

I'm sure EVERYONE on here will help out if they can so feel free to talk to us as sometimes getting stuff off your chest can be a great help.

I'm only a PM away if you want to talk as i've been where you are

It gets better mate, keep your head up and take care

Steve

[paulgtt]

Just want to say thanks to all for their advice and cheers paul mate for helping me out and putting my mind straight.

For now, things are working out. Me and the girl in question are dealing with the problems more like adults now than silly little children because i think we both understand and realise we were being f*cking stupid about a fair few things. Alot has been said and got alot of our chests and now know what annoys eachother and we are going to see if it can work out.

As for the family problems. I doubt they will ever be solved as its been that way even since before i was born. Their too big for me to solve and sort.

So for now, im going to stick around, but im going to the hospital soon and will be having regular checks and talks with the doctor about my depression and stuff to hopefully stop me wanting to top myself again, as the urge to do it last time was almost too much to stop.

Once again thanks all for your advice. Legends.

Rhys.

Glad your getting it sorted mate, remember to keep your head held high.

Pm me if you need another chat mate, its all part of the service