Jump to content

Recommended Posts

that is pretty funny. but

To be honest who is chuck norris?

i'll explain who chuck norris is...

# When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

# Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

#

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

# Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

# Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

# There is no chin behind Chuck Norrisâ?? beard. There is only another fist.

# When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isnâ??t lifting himself up, heâ??s pushing the Earth down.

# Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

# Chuck Norrisâ?? hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

# Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

# Chuck Norris doesnâ??t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

# Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

# Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

# Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

# Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Link to post
Share on other sites

the chief export of Chuck Norris is PAIN....

On a side note, one of my pointless but true stories from the past (I'm old, I ramble).

Back at college, this chubby guy called Colin, used to talk a lot of shit....we'd take it all with a pinch of salt, you know the usual...he lived in a huge house with 20 bedrooms, his sister was a Vietnamese model, he used to live in Vietnam...his dad was best friends with Chuck Norris...Chuck Norris used to take Colin on the beach and spa with him as a kid...

you know...etc

Anyway,

Last day of college, Colin brings in his photo album.

Oh look....that's a fucking HUGE house there Colin, and there you are in it....nice.

Who's that FIT bird? is that a beach with palm trees and stuff? ok....

Who is tha....is that?....fuck me it's Chuck Norris....with his arm around Colin.

:p

Awesome.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Loving the Chuck Norris quotes :p

Heres a few more.....

* There are no steriods in sport, only people Chuck Norris has breathed on

* Chuck was not born like a normal child, he punched his way outta the womb

* Chuck once shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and and shouting BANG

* On the small print at the back of gunniess book of records it reads..... all world records are held by Chuck Norris, the people listed are the closest anyone has got to them

and my favourite 1.....

* Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad that he has never cried..... EVER!! :p:D

Link to post
Share on other sites
the chief export of Chuck Norris is PAIN....

On a side note, one of my pointless but true stories from the past (I'm old, I ramble).

Back at college, this chubby guy called Colin, used to talk a lot of shit....we'd take it all with a pinch of salt, you know the usual...he lived in a huge house with 20 bedrooms, his sister was a Vietnamese model, he used to live in Vietnam...his dad was best friends with Chuck Norris...Chuck Norris used to take Colin on the beach and spa with him as a kid...

you know...etc

Anyway,

Last day of college, Colin brings in his photo album.

Oh look....that's a fucking HUGE house there Colin, and there you are in it....nice.

Who's that FIT bird? is that a beach with palm trees and stuff? ok....

Who is tha....is that?....fuck me it's Chuck Norris....with his arm around Colin.

:p

Awesome.

awesome!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

If Chuck Norris and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Chuck would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

People with amnesia still remember Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris invented the internet... just so he had a place to store his p*rn.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun

and won.

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died

Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

Link to post
Share on other sites
the chief export of Chuck Norris is PAIN....

On a side note, one of my pointless but true stories from the past (I'm old, I ramble).

Back at college, this chubby guy called Colin, used to talk a lot of shit....we'd take it all with a pinch of salt, you know the usual...he lived in a huge house with 20 bedrooms, his sister was a Vietnamese model, he used to live in Vietnam...his dad was best friends with Chuck Norris...Chuck Norris used to take Colin on the beach and spa with him as a kid...

you know...etc

Anyway,

Last day of college, Colin brings in his photo album.

Oh look....that's a fucking HUGE house there Colin, and there you are in it....nice.

Who's that FIT bird? is that a beach with palm trees and stuff? ok....

Who is tha....is that?....fuck me it's Chuck Norris....with his arm around Colin.

:p

Awesome.

lolz nice :p

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...