SpeedFreak Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Jack woke up with a killer hangover after attending one of his office colleagues Leaving Party. He didn't even remember how he got home. It's 8.30. What day is it? Thursday. His wife must have gone to work.As he struggled into consciousness through the fog of a pounding headache, his stomach plummeted as he wondered what the hell he did last night.He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a little vase of sweet peas, freshly picked from the garden. He sat up. The bedroom was clean and tidy, - there was no trail of drunkenly abandoned clothes, fresh air was coming in through the window and all was serene. He stumbled to the bathroom, also pristine, and, squinting gingerly into the mirror, saw that he had a black eye. This was not a good sign, but no memories were returning.As he concentrated hard on getting the world into focus, he saw a post-it note stuck on the corner of the mirror. It was written in red, with little hearts on it and a kiss from his wife. "I'll ring your office and tell them you won't be in today. Breakfast is in the oven. Try to eat something and go back to bed for the morning. There's snooker on TV this afternoon. Take it easy today, hope your eye doesn't hurt too much. See you tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian. x "He stumbled to the kitchen and sure enough, there was hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the newspaper. His teenaged son was sitting at the table, eating.Jack, bracing himself, asked his son what happened the previous night." Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. "Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, aspirins by the bed, a nice note from Mum and breakfast waiting for me?"His son replied, 'Oh THAT!... Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your trousers off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone you slapper, I'm married!!'Broken Coffee Table £250 Hot Breakfast £3.50 Two Aspirins 20p Saying the right thing, at the right time......PRICELESS Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sparky Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 rofl thats awsome Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedFreak Posted October 16, 2008 Author Share Posted October 16, 2008 Im the joke queen!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sparky Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Thought it was porn queen? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedFreak Posted October 16, 2008 Author Share Posted October 16, 2008 I can be both! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sparky Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 ooooh Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Glanza-Love Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 ^ doubly ohhhhhhh yeeeeeehhhhhh Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ecksjay Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 but the important question is, are you the pie queen.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ste91 Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 less jokes, more pornchop chop Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SiCaln Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 lol only just seen this nice one Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedFreak Posted October 16, 2008 Author Share Posted October 16, 2008 but the important question is, are you the pie queen..I would be big-headed if I commented on this....less jokes, more pornchop chopMaybe we need a porn section...LOL! Pornhub for the winz! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SiCaln Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 hmm theres your answer ecks lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sparky Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Oh god thats a yes Ecks!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Galliano Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 haha classic Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.