Help with women!

[MattyCD]

Thanks!

And yes, dont let her see this thread LOL!

Infact, if she see's this thread, she'll probably see how much Jules actually DOES feel about her.

[Jules-B]

Right this girl confuses the fuck out of me!!

We were talking about her date, and her telling me which she knew id feel bad and that i should know that id always come before any date... and she was sorry about that, i replied saying of course im upset, but im going to have to learn to live with it, ill probably never get over you..im just going to learn to live with it'' she then started crying, and said how much she didnt want this for me and the amount she cares for me makes it actually painful for me to hear that ill just have to live with it.

Am i reading into it, or am i right in thinking she must feel somthing.....

[Starletraje]

im thinking she don't know what she wants.

or has some reason to be off about a relationship with you (not that im saying you've done anything, could be somethine innocent like one of her mates likes you or something)

[MattyCD]

Right this girl confuses the fuck out of me!!

We were talking about her date, and her telling me which she knew id feel bad and that i should know that id always come before any date... and she was sorry about that, i replied saying of course im upset, but im going to have to learn to live with it, ill probably never get over you..im just going to learn to live with it'' she then started crying, and said how much she didnt want this for me and the amount she cares for me makes it actually painful for me to hear that ill just have to live with it.

Am i reading into it, or am i right in thinking she must feel somthing.....

there is something at work in that head of hers, she might be hiding something that she thinks you'll react badly about

imo you should go all out attack and just ask her to marry you lol

[Jules-B]

Haha

The thing is, there isnt much i could really react bad about! i mean its either got to be, no i dont like you, or yeah i do.

[MattyCD]

Haha

The thing is, there isnt much i could really react bad about! i mean its either got to be, no i dont like you, or yeah i do.

how old is she by the way?

[Starletraje]

Haha

The thing is, there isnt much i could really react bad about! i mean its either got to be, no i dont like you, or yeah i do.

maybe she has an arranged marriage?

[pallett]

orite chap, sounds to me like you have got a girl like my one of my friends has, he went out with her for about a year and she blew him off but he has never truly got over her, he treated her like a queen and she never really grasped how good she had it, but even though she would always leave him hanging in the balance in some way wether it be some little remark in a text to get his hopes up, or saying she still loves him, these kind of girls like to know they have someone who cares for them, wants them, loves them, as it gives them confidence, a kick, the wanting they desire, but at the same time do not care that they are screwing up someones life by leading them along. Im sorry if im wrong about the girl in question but it does seem a smiliar situation and you just have to think do you really want this burden on you for the rest of your days, ok the initial period may seem really shitty and you may feel really down but life does this to people in all sorts of ways, but for every bad there is a good in return, if she says she wants friendship then it seems that may be all you are going to get, but as said before go out and enjoy your life, you only get one shot dont spend it moping around, if she cared for you as much as she says she would not put you through this, and she must see it herself if you are so close. For some advice though maybe try getting a lady friend (make one up if needs be) that is interested and see how this causes her to react, it may give her the kick up the butt to make her realise that someone else could take you from her and bring out her real feelings, or she may be happy for you that you are moving on with your life, at least you will know as uncertainty is the worst part about it.

[SpeedFreak]

God no, don't make up a girl! That would be bad. If she really knows you like you say, she would know it isn't true.

From what you have said about your chat, it seems to me like she does care for you alot. I think she knows how much you like her, and doesn't want to hurt you by going out with other men, but at the same time doesn't want to lie to you about doing it. I think she got upset because your her best friend and she can see how much she is hurting you without even meaning to.

I definatly would advise not to look into it too much, cause the conversation to me looks just as if she is upset to hurt you.

At the same time, it sounds like she really doesn't know what she wants at the moment. She has just moved to Uni which is a big step for anyone, so she is meeting new people and will have loads of new experiences in her life. So at the moment, just be there for her. Try not to act differently to her, cause it sounds like she needs you right now just as much as you need her.

[GT-dan]

just read this through, one point that has been mentioned - unless ive missed it, is the fact she is at uni.

me and my mrs have been together over 3 years, and she is now in her final year of uni and moved in, around 45 mins drive from me, and ive hardly seen her, she comes home at weekend and works, were drifting apart, so not sure what will happen.

anyway enough about my relationship, my point is, maybe she doesnt want to start a relationship on the basis that she may feel she will be missing out on something at uni, going out with friends, pulling fellow strangers, being typical young students? she may realise that she likes you and could have a real good relationship, but doesnt want that yet?

[JAG]

Mate in know how this feels

I was "Best friends" with this girl for years she fucked me about so much altho at the time she had a bf then another one n blaa blaa blaa kept going on about breaking up with him or him n going for me but she just like used me for the attension n thats what this sounds like tbh

And its not fun being strung along....

Id go with what everyone on heres saying treat um mean n keep um keen delay the txts n stuff

Also when your up with her id say try befriend her mates like well uni style just get hammered etc BUT do not tell them about the fact shes strung u along like a dog on a lead as there only goin 2 think your a lil lapdog also if your goin out clubbing dance with her mates it'al make her slightly jealous n then just SHINE mate ;)

Make her see what shes missing out on

BUT

Saying that if u do do that then the fact shes at uni is likely to destroy your relationship to a certain extent anyway....

So if your willing to do the whole long distance thing go for it but being at uni n not with u is garanteed to make her mind wander etc

So weigh it up wether its worth getting in there now

Or

Getting over her waiting til shes done with uni then playing it from the non-best friend position

2nd option will probably do u more good tho mate

Hope that helps a lil

n hope u get it all sorted

I wouldnt advise kidnapping her tho....

Might work a treat but errrr.....

;)

[Glanza_cl]

just stay good friends as you are.

she is at uni now so you have space between you two, over time you will get used to the situation and yeah starting uni is going to be a hard and stressful time so just be there for when she needs you. don't read into the signs to much as she just needs a good friend to support her at this stage.

perhaps going down and seeing her is not the best option at this stage perhaps wait a week or two until things settle down, give yourself time to think and let her settle into a routine at uni and think more- i just started back again this week and it's hectic.

[Sparky]

As said dont just point blank ignore her, epsecially if your going out next week.

Just play it cool let her be the first to make contact, when you go out tell her you been having a great time with the lads etc

Dont go saying stuff like I havent stopped thinking about you, couldnt wait to come see you etc

Its all abotu YOU mate, not here

Hope it goes well

[SpeedFreak]

One more thing, she isn't stringing you along as she hasn't told you she likes you and wants to be with you. You don't want to look at her as if she is stringing you along because otherwise you will ruin your friendship altogther.

But I hope you get it sorted one way or another!

[shelly_star]

Aww Jules, trust me mate, there is nothing that goes our way, always when you like someone, they dont like you back, or someone that likes you and you dont like them back.

I have been/or people that been like this to me in this situation many times and know a few that have been in your shoes, and trust me it's not easy for a girl to tell a guy that they dont feel the same because of the friendship is so important.

But when we do tell them, it's too late as they have gone beyond the point (trust me it's hard to break someones heart especially when they have fallen in love with you, which i find crazy because u can't fall in love with someone like that :s but i know one that did and really would do anything to be with me ). People always say that girls are misleading with guys, but HEY, we are just friendly and it's not our fault and men can be misleading too.

So have you and this girl gotten to the point of "just friends"? Yep i think so. It's because you two get on so well she doesnt want to risk anything to ruin that friendship, it's frustrasting i know but it's just the way it is. And its also because maybe she has gotten to know you well, she might not see you as the type to "date". because i have done so with many of the people i gotten to know better.

Like you said, it killed you to hear that she was going on a date, it's a start to make yourself come to terms that you can't be anything more than just friends and it's been made clear. So I gotta say you have to move on, easy said than done i know. But trust me everyone has been in the same boat. It's going to be hard, but be strong.

i got a friend that used to like me but i didnt have the same sorta feelings, so he was turned down, 7 years down the line we are great friends and still are but from time to time he still gets annoyed with the guys that i see, because he thinks they are complete idiots and treat me badly, but he had to come to terms that we cant be anymore than just friends, so he has accepted it, but deep down probably still something there, but who knows.

Like someone said on here, people never see the good people around them. And at the end of it, they still dont choose the person that likes them and the person that has been there for them all the way with love and support, dunno why it's just how it is.... :S

No matter how much you keep telling her how you feel, it won't change her mind if it's made up.

Chin up, plenty of fish in the sea ;) just have to find the one that appreciates you for you.

[SpeedFreak]

If everyone went with that one person who they were closest to, then the world would be a happy place and there would be no hassle. But nothings ever simple!

Its good that Shelley can give you her point of view as she has been the girl in that issue. Atleast you can see how this girl maybe feeling.

[Nanglebadger]

btween the amazingness that is shelly and speedfreaks words u have some good advice there man.

further msn chat in progress for u buddy!! chin up!

Phil.

[shelly_star]

LOL thanks Phil, guess we were just telling everyone what females have to go through too ;)

[Nanglebadger]

no worries shelbo, your advice always rocks.

Phil.

[shelly_star]

Gotta say u helped me out big time on msn, im glad to have u back ;)

[Nanglebadger]

no problemo shelbo!

Phil.

[Jules-B]

right im back for more!, didnt think i would be but o well!

well im part way through my stay with her at uni in leeds, been here since thursday and the last day or 2 has been getting hard. i cant even look at her without feeling down!.

the way i see it, is that no matter what i do im not going to be happy right??.. if i tell her we shouldnt talk anymore, she wont even fight for it, as shed do what i think is right, and on the other side, i cant put myself throught this much longer!.. i read a conversation between her and one of my mates, and she said that she half thought it wasnt a good idea us seeing each other as much

is there anyway i can noticeably change somthing, but so much so that she is the one really wanting my company?

im half tempted to talk to her again in person, even though nothing will be changed...but i havnt managed to yet!

on the other side, its actually a wicked place to go out! and seen a couple of starlets..

[SpeedFreak]

It sounds like its time to try and let it go and move on mate.

The only reason I say this is the fact that she has mentioned that it maybe best if you spend less time together. This means that she can see how badly you have fallen, and she doesn't want to hurt you. Maybe she just doesn't feel the same way.

But at the same time, I really think you need to talk to her. Going by what friends say, or what she has said to them won't help you, it will just confuse you more. She may not of ment what she said in the way that you read it.

I say, as your there and this could be the last time you see her properley for a while then talk to her. Maybe on your last night so it doesn't ruin the time you have together now.

I know its going to be hard for you, but you need to clear this up for once and for good. Whether it ends well or not.

Playing games won't work any more, so there's no point in ignoring her to see if she comes running.

[Nanglebadger]

^^^^wot she said, simple as that buddy.

Phil.

[Glanza-Love]

seems like you got a chaser mate... some one who loves the attention but never steps to the plate.. shes toying with you mind buddy, take what she says with a pinch of salt man! .. time to step down and let it got matey! dont bother with her any more... it will be hard but you gota let it go...

i think that if you two did get together you wouldnt be happy you would have your self under a false sense of security mate thinkn things are good! , if you get with her its gona be a roller coaster ride... and the only person thats gona hurt in the end brother is your self.

i hate those type of girls.. your love them like mad but it just aint happnin, i call em the untouchables..