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Posted

Heres a topic people can throw in any text jokes they receive - Sparky wont be posting much here, i send him the original jokes :)

SOME MAY BE OFFENSIVE!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

i am posting these due to a few different posts requesting those i said i wouldnt put up for certain reasons, i have clearly stated in the title if you dont like "text joke" nature, dont read this topic, so dont slander me if you dont like them!

I was at the tills in Asda the other day with a full trolley, a little old lady was behind me, she only had a pint of milk, i said "is that all you have?" "yes dear" she replied... i said "if i were you i'd f**k off, im gonna be ages!"

:::::

Two old ladies sitting in a cafe, Ethel says to Doris "did you come on the bus?" "yes" she replied "but i made it look like an asthma attack"

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Two gays in a toilet. One sees a nicotine patch in the others penis and says "does that work?" "yes" the other gay replied "im down to two butts per day"

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Blonde asks Chemist "can i have some rectum deoderant?" "no such thing" he replies. "es there is, i have one in my bag, but its empty" She hands it to him and he says "this is a normal stick of under arm deoderant". The blonde says "HELOOO, BIG LETTERS, TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM!!"

Il add the rest tomorrow as im sleepy now ;)

Posted

well.. i chickened out, i couldnt post the REAL offensive ones.. i saw the mess it made of the original jokes topic when joey stepped outa line... so figured, stuff the guys who wanted me to post em, i cant!

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