SpeedFreak

Loves salty balls!

I do think Lee Evans is funny, although the sweat thing is a bit too much sometimes bless him! I love Peter Kay also, got 4 of his DVD's and all are funny!

Interesting, I think everyone could think of little niggly things about their EP's that they would ask them about! And I agree about the light bulb, stupid bloody things.

I dont know what BNP means either?

You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further ado here are the 2008 Darwin awards. Eighth Place. In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. ___________________________________ Seventh Place A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned when he ran', accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run. ___________________________________ Sixth Place While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom! When it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital. ___________________________________ Fifth Place Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor. ___________________________________ Fourth Place Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. ___________________________________ Third Place After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up! and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt. ___________________________________ HONORABLE MENTION Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed. ___________________________________ Runner up Larry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable, lay near by. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle.. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located. ___________________________________ AND THE WINNER IS.. Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves....'Shit happens' IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL

Yeah Shooting Stars was funny too, but like you said very budget LOL!

Oh thats good then mate. To be honest, even if they tried to deny it they would of been told by their insurers that they had to admit fault! It is always best to declare all mods though, as Bildo commented, technically you are uninsured if you dont have everything declared. My friend re-sprayed her car, and it was a different colour to what the log book said. Police pulled her over a stung her for 3 points, because they can tell what mods are declared. I know you havent got anything as major as a spray job, but still always best to cover yourself.

Knows thats the only way to live ya life!! LOL...

Yeah I find him funny, but no one can compare to Mark Lemar!

I cannot go on any chat sites at all which is pooo. Plus I dont go on TGTT either. Our computers run slow and with no sound when on youtube so thats no good either!

If your claiming on his insurance then it shouldnt matter too much. Unless you claim through your insurers first, who will probably void your insurance if you have mods that they arent aware of. But it shouldnt matter really, as your not the one at fault.

I've never really enjoyed 'Have I got news for you'. Never found it that funny really. Buzzcocks is bloody awesome though!

Is right, but been there done that as in heard it all before off people....there's only so much you can help someone. If they dont wanna help themselves lol!

What a wally LOL!!! At least he had insurance and was able to speak English to pass on the details mate! Still rubbish that he damaged ya car though.

Im not into Kayne any more. I am not feeling his new sound at all, just doesnt suit him.

I learnt to drive in a Yaris, and frikken hated it!!

LOL...I wanna know toooo!!!

Got that wrong....I just get annoyed buy young people who don't have a clue. Or want everyone to feel sorry for them when they dont help themselves!

I know exactly how you feel!!

See I don't find Russell Howard that funny really, Frankie is so much funnier!! Its a shame if he does copy things from Mock the Week, but I am sure it will still be funny!!

Me too!! Its bloody boring! I come on here, or look through The Sun website at the news. I need a cool site to go on though for something to do!

The phone industry is getting some competitive now. The phones are so much more expensive to make, but they contracts are so good and cheap that most companies don't hardly make anything now on a contract sale.

Shit!! And to think he wanted to swap his white Glanza for mine!!

Oh man I am jealous! That bloke is the nuts. He is so funny!! He was in the paper the other day, saying how he was proper hooked on drugs and shit when he was younger but being a comedian changed his life around! Well wish I could go now!!! Mock the Week is bloody great!

Hates the iPhone and American muscle LOL!