" I got a letter today, my JSA had been stopped because "I didn't actively seek work". I told the people at the Job Centre I wasn't able to work because I twisted ankle a few months back, but they've no sympathy. I'm not sure where Dwayne's gone. Last night, he told me he fancied a Fray Bentos pie, so maybe he's gone for that. I just hope he's nicked it and not paid for it otherwise I'm not gonna be able to afford to get Shakira and Akon their daily Big bag of Haribo from Poundland. Shit, Poundland! I need to go... Shakira want's a Monster Munch sandwich for her tea, and Akon ate the last of them for his breakfast this morning.... If Dwayne's paid for that Fray Bentos, I'm gonna go kill him! Dwayne's back! He did well! He came back with 4 Fray Bentos, Kids' Monster Munch and a Microwave... Dwayne handed me his chosen pie and told me "to bang it in the microwave". The way he said it, I just knew he was gonna bang me after he'd eaten it. I couldn't wait... It was 11pm now, and kids were due to go to bed in about and hour or so. I think Dwane's nicked a dodgy microwave, or maybe it's just one of these new Microwaves? Watching it cook in the microwave was like lightening strikes hitting the pie tin, it was quite entertaining! These new microwaves though... they're a bit too much! Back when I was a kid, microwaves just did like 'ping' sound... This one though, it was a loud bang, and a bit of smoke came outa the back, I think it's just so you know when you're food's done if you're upstairs or something... Only took about 10 seconds though! Dwayne will be well impressed! It was now midnight, Akon was playing something on the XBOX and Shakira was talking to a few men on the internet, she says she gets along better with older men... 9 year olds today! Pffttt... Dwayne keeps giving me a look, it's kinda like a nervous twitch, but a long stare - I'm not sure if he's hinting to go upstairs, or it's just that marker pen he's been sniffing... We made our way upstairs, hoping that he'd take advantage of me... he didn't I knew I still had mother responsibilities, so I quickly rushed back down stairs and told them both to both be in bed by 2am, as they had school in the morning. I lay in bed, eyes wide open watching Dwayne twitch in his sleep - just hoping he'd wake up and take me, it never happened. My mind wondered... I started thinking about really naughty stuff, I needed to satisfy myself, but Dwayne's Staffy, 'klitschko' had chewed my toys. The only rounded thing I could think of was..."