I know mate but going by the sounds of it and the fact that the dash is fading when you turn on the headlights. Do you have jumpleads at all? I know it says its fully charged but I've had to replace many a battery that says its 12v but is knackered. Batteries can say they are 12v but they need to be drop tested aswell as they may not be able to maintain a load put on them. Best thing you can do is stick the battery in your car get another car and keep the engine running, stick some jump leads on between the 2 cars and if your central locking and everything else still doesn't work then its not the battery.