A woman slips naked in her bathroom, does the splits and ends up suctioned to the floor by her fanny. Her husband tries but cant budge her so calls his mate who says " ill bring a hammer, we can break the tiles and lift her!" the husband replies " ok ill lick her ears and play with her tits while u get it." "why?" asks his mate. The husband replies " if i can get her wet we can slide her to the kitchen where the tiles are cheaper!" 2 dogs in the vet. jack and butch, butch asks jack "what are you in for?" I mauled a postman so im bieng put to sleep" says jack "what are you in for?" butch says "i was walking past the bathroom when i saw my owner, stark naked bending over the bath washing her hair. I was feeling horny so i mounted her doggy style." "jesus! no wonder your being put to sleep then!" "im not" says butch "Im here to have my nails clipped" Horny fat wife in stockings and high heels puts on a cape and bursts into the bedroom and shouts to her husband "SUPERPUSSY!" he looks up and says "ill have the soup"